Who You Are is NOT One Size Fits All
I was born and raised on the North Shore of Long Island, New York. I grew up in a small village; I was a 5 minute walk to the beach and a 15 minute walk to the LIRR station to Manhattan. Since I was a child I dreamed of living in New York City. A short hour away from my hometown, I went there whenever I could. It made me feel more at home than my actual home did. Something about New York has me hypnotized - I never thought that I could be anything but a city girl.
The one thing I always knew, no matter what craft I was to focus on, or where I wanted to live: I wanted to change people’s lives. I wanted to open them up to hidden emotions, memories and traumas holding them back so they could rise and grow.
When I dreamed of moving to the “big city” at 14 I was determined to be an actress.
To move people through performance.
I wanted to change their perspective in a way that so many acts had changed mine.
I wanted people to look up at me and think, “If she can do that, I can do it too”.
I want to inspire, encourage and lead.
Now, I don’t necessarily dream of being on the big screen or the stage anymore, but I do still have a deep desire to inspire others to live out their wildest dreams.
I believe one of the key pieces to living a meaningful and fulfilling life is taking the time to really figure out what you want. I know, I know. That seems obvious… simple even. But, I wouldn’t be pointing out that you really have to know yourself before you move forward in what you think you want if I didn’t fail gloriously and figure it out for myself first.
For years I’ve felt an internal struggle between who I think I am (or who I’m supposed to be) and who I truly am and need to embrace. I’ve had (failed) friendships throughout my life where others have encouraged me to “be practical”. To “have a back up plan”. To stay small. Realistic. And I LISTENED. Of course, there were plenty of other reasons why I didn’t pursue acting and dropped out of college. There are dozens of excuses on why I’ll never be a successful singer or performer. But, more than that - when I told myself I wasn’t good enough to keep trying to continue working on my craft and connecting with others I stopped believing I could ever be a catalyst for change in others lives.
My true purpose, my actual gift was hidden underneath what I thought was the only way that I could express it.
Now, back to the being a “city girl”.
This is another narrative that I have told myself for YEARS. I always travelled to other cities and avoided camping, hiking, or anything else that got me close to nature. “I’m a city girl”, I would boast. This all changed a couple weeks ago when I went to a small island in the Bahamas called Staniel Cay. Most people visit this island for a day to do boat tours of famous tourist locations like Pig Island. My friends and I stayed on this island for 5 days. Barely any wi-fi, spotty electricity and water, 3 restaurants, 1 convenience store, and dirt roads. Years ago I would’ve said “fuck that”, but the thought of staying on the beach for days with no wi-fi, parties, or really any other souls around except locals was a NO BRAINER.
I won’t get into the details of how this trip changed me just yet (that’s a whole post in itself, which is coming), but I want to take a moment to pause and highlight a couple of mindsets that have been challenged and shifted during this time of exploration/realization.
I’m a city girl. (meaning I don’t want to be around nature, or don’t thrive unless I’m surrounded by buildings and angry people)
I am practical and realistic and shouldn’t pursue my creative talents as a viable career option.
I don’t have a spiritual practice or connection because I am a realist.
You see, I was stuck in this mindset of
“if I can’t see the end result then I shouldn’t go for it”.
“If I work for something, and don’t get the result I WANT I have failed and am a failure and should never try anything again.”
I looked at my life, my choices, my surroundings and then tried to find others who have what I want. I looked towards celebrities, social media, teachers, peers - but I felt alone. Everyone seemed to know who they are and always knew. As I started to realize what I was telling myself subconsciously
“You’re not good enough”
“You’re not talented enough”
“No one cares what you have to say”
“You’re not broken enough”
“You’re TOO broken”
I noticed that I will never find another me. I can’t look to someone else’s life and what worked for them and apply it to myself. It doesn’t work like that. Instead, I have to study myself and go with my gut. So, I turned to the stars - more specifically where the stars and planets were aligned at my time of birth. After some deep analysis into my Birth Chart it’s like the sky cleared and all my questions and hesitations were answered for ME.
I’ve always been a fan of Astrology. I’m an Aries Sun and find most definitions of my sign to be completely relatable. However, as I changed and started delving into what I REALLY wanted out of my life and what I find fulfilling I felt pulled farther and farther away from this “Aries” character that I was “supposed to be”.
I started studying Astrology more and finding patterns in my life and others. I used all the resources I could gather to find that apparently your Sun sign is a TIIIIINY fraction of what your true sign actually is (which is basically a culmination of where ALL the planets were aligned at your time of birth and how they all relate to each other).
Now, this was something I could get behind because astrology is SCIENCE. And I am a realist. There have been mathematicians and scientists studying the stars, planets and their relation to humans for THOUSANDS of years. Back in the 15-1600s only royalty were to have their Birth Charts read and now there are free services all over the internet that give us deep analysis of the opportunities the Universe provides for us and we don’t use it?! OK.
I can’t emphasize enough how much my Birth Chart opened me up to a whole new way of thinking. Every single note, relation and aspect was aimed at me so accurately that I audibly GASPED during parts of it.
I want to give other people this experience. To provide education and guidance for people wanting to learn more about themselves, their truths, their gifts, and how they can apply them to living a more fulfilling life.
If this at ALL interests you comment below with your email address!
I’ll be providing 20 FREE Birth Chart readings with a custom watercolor edition of your Natal Chart along with a PDF of a written analysis and an optional 20 minute video chat where we talk face to face about what your chart means, you can ask me any questions that come up, and you can let me know what you relate with and (if any) anything you don’t!
You are not just your Sun sign. You are not just where you grew up. You are not just your job.
You are so much MORE than what you give yourself credit for.
You are stardust.
You are MAGIC.
You are precious, loved and valued.